


All things great and small

by epic_cephalopod



Series: Kinktobember 2018 [26]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Body Image, Embarrassment, Garak's canon pansexuality, M/M, Micropenis, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-08 11:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17385929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epic_cephalopod/pseuds/epic_cephalopod
Summary: Julian shares his second biggest secret with his partner.





	All things great and small

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeltaVega](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=DeltaVega).



Julian Bashir was a man with secrets. 

‘Well’, he corrected himself, ‘a man with two secrets’. One was the secret of his genetic enhancements. A secret that could upend his life, destroy his career, and land him in a prison colony, or worse, a hospital to be studied.  The other was far, far less dangerous and yet far more humiliating, at least for Julian. 

He was never sure if it was a result of his genetic enhancements or just the luck of the genetic draw, but Julian...Julian had micro genitals.Tiny, inadequate, micro genitals. His cock was barely a visible button when he was soft, and not more than the length and thickness of his own thumb when aroused, and his balls were proportional. He knew there wasn’t much that could be done for it, so he simply lived with it. 

Julian had done his best to learn other ways to give and receive pleasure - his reputation among the ladies was well earned. After all, one didn’t need a massive cock to please most humanoid women when one had hands, a mouth, toys and a creative mind. Julian was more than good, game and giving, and the folks he’d been with had been very understanding of his condition. 

Some things seem to span species, and the humanoid males’ fascination with their own cocks and the size of said organ, or the ones representative of them, was still common to humanoid males in the 24th century, or at least it was in Julian’s admittedly limited experience. Aside from some awkward petting and fumbling in high school, Julian’s experience with cis men was brief and humiliating. While most tried be polite, engaging with him and then ghosting or demurring a second date after the fact, a few were downright cruel. The last man he’d tried to have sex with at the Academy had flat out laughed at him, laughed at his cock to his face. “Are you kidding me? What am I going to do with *that* little thing? Talk about a hot dog down a hallway!” he continued to throw insults as he dressed and left, Julian nodding and holding back his tears until the man left.

Ever since then, he’d avoided men, despite men who piqued his interest, avoiding them all...until Garak. 

Garak, who made Julian exasperated and amused with irritating ease, who’s cultured voice made butterflies appear in his stomach. Garak, the one person Julian never had to hold back his intellect when sparring verbally, and who never looked at him as a genetic freak once Julian had told him of the enhancements. Garak, who kissed Julian until he was dizzy, desperately clinging to the Cardassian’s shoulders as they both panted. Garak, who would politely ask Julian if he’d like to retire to the bedroom, and never seemed put off when Julian politely declined.

However polite Garak was, Julian’s fear of revealing his humiliation warred with his fear that his refusals were pushing his partner away. Julian sighed. They’d been friends for years, and had been dating for months now. It was time to gird his loins, as it were, and talk to Garak. 

\---

Later that week, after their regular dinner date, Julian and Garak were sharing a bottle of wine and having a meandering discussion about not much at all. Garak had slowly worked his way across the couch so he was sitting next to Julian, their crossed knees touching and one arm gracefully draped across the back of the couch, not quite touching Julian.  

During a lull in the conversation, Julian gathered his courage and blurted out  “Garak, could we talk?”   
  
Garak raised an eyeridge at him, amused “Isn’t that what we’ve been doing, Doctor?”

“No I mean. Well. Um” Julian stuttered, a hot flush creeping up his neck.

“Are you alright Julian? You’re turning a peculiar shade. Are you ill?” Garak looked concerned, frowning as he reached out to touch his companion’s forehead.

“No, no, I’m fine - well, healthy. It’s about us.”   
  
“Ahhh. I see.” Garak took his hand away, retreating back to his side of the couch with a small frown, though he quickly smoothed his face into what Julian thought of as his ‘spy face’ - a blank, pleasant mask that said very little. 

“Garak, things have been wonderful - you’re wonderful. But I’m sure you’ve noticed my reluctance to become more intimate.” Julian was looking down at his hands as he spoke, but he could feel Garak stiffen next to him.

“I had noticed, yes.” Garak hadn’t quite snapped, but there was a defensive bite to his tone now.   
  
“Look, its not…”

“ ‘It’s not you, it’s me?’ is it, Doctor? A tired old story indeed. That’s fine. I’ll take my leave now, and save you the humiliating speech.” Garak, stood to leave, and Julian jumped up from the couch as well, grabbing his arm.

“Garak no! Stop, please. Please let me finish” Julian breathed a sigh of relief when he did, tugging him to sit back down on the couch.  “First of all, the issue really IS me, not you.”

“Alright then, Doctor. What seems to be the problem?” Garak’s mouth was thin, but he relaxed a little, waiting. 

Julian sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, this is really hard for me Garak, it's just very personal and painful to talk about. Harder than discussing my enhancements.” He laughed a little bitterly. Some enhancement.

Garak stared at him and blinked slowly once, waiting.

“You see I’m...my...well it's like this. Ihaveamicropenis.” everything came tumbling out too fast to be clear.

“Come again?”    
  
Julian didn’t want to laugh at that but couldn’t help it, and that eased a knot of tension in his belly. He took a deep breath to calm himself “I’m sorry, I’m not used to talking about this. Garak, the reason I’ve been hesitant to be intimate is because I have atypical genitals for a human. My genitals are abnormally small for a human male.”

Garak sighed, moving closer and pulling Julian against him. “And this why you’ve been keeping your distance from me, my dear Julian? I thought it had something to do with me being male or Cardassian, seeing all the human women you’ve run around the station with.”

“....yes…”, Julian mumbled, resting his head on Garak’s shoulder, feeling foolish. “I should have known better, I’m sorry. It’s just gone over rather poorly in the past....many human men are quite obsessed with penis sized. Really, it's an socially archaic belief and I’m surprised it's still a thing, but here we are.”

“Julian, I care about *you* my dear, not your sex organs. To be honest, I’ve never particularly cared what gender or sex organs my partners have. I’m much more fascinated by their minds.” Garak kissed Julian on top of his head.

“Elim, I’m so so sorry if I made you feel like it was something about you!”

“I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to share with me Julian.” Garak turned and tilted Julian’s head up, kissing him again passionately, until Julian was panting and clutching at his shoulders. “Now that that we’re both on the same page, why don’t we retire to the bedroom?”

Julian smiled, much more confident now. “Yes, lets!”

\---

FIN

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> DeltaVega, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
